STOP SUPPORTING THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE THAT ARE NOT SUPPORTING YOU!

FOR ME THIS ONE WAS A TUFF ONE TO GET INTO MY SYSTEM OF THINKING…FOR YEARS I WAS PLAYING THE ROLE OF “FIXER” TO ANY AND ALL THAT NEEDED OR MORE TO THE POINT, THAT I THINK NEEDED FIXING…A LOT OF MY IMMEDIATE FAMILY AND MANY PEOPLE I MET IN RECOVERY…AT THE TIME I THOUGHT I WAS DOING GOOD FOR OTHERS…AND MANY TIMES IT WAS SO…BUT AS I CAN SEE NOW IT WAS ALSO A WAY FOR ME TO FEEL BETTER AND TO “MAKE” UP FOR MY PAST DEEDS OF DISGRACE…NOT TO SAY THAT NO GOOD WAS DONE FOR IT WAS…BUT AT A COST…AS MY EXPECTATIONS WERE NOT MEET AND RELATIONSHIPS WERE TESTED…WE ALL KNOW WHAT FOLLOWS…THE BITTERNESS OF RESENTMENT…

I SEEMED TO HAVE HAD A PROBLEM OF NOT SEEING THAT I WAS NOT IN CHARGE OF ANYONE ELSE’S SOBRIETY, SOCIAL BEHAVIOR…CHOICE OF FRIENDS…AND WHAT EVER ELSE YOU CAN THINK OF. IT DIDN’T MATTER IT I WAS ASKED OR OFFERED HELP IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO GIVE UP AND LET GO! TO GIVE UP ON WHAT I DEEMED WAS A MISSION TO HEAL! IT TOOK A DECADE GIVE OR TAKE A YEAR OR SO FOR ME TO WAKE UP TO THE FACT THAT I HAD NO RIGHT TO BE A CONTROLLER, A FIXER, THE MAN WITH THE ANSWERS…LETTING GO WAS HARDEST FOR ME WITH MY FAMILY…MY WIFE WE DIVORCED…MY DAUGHTER MOVED TO THE STREETS, MY SON ALSO TO THE STREETS… OF COURSE I WANTED TO GIVE IN! JUST ONE MORE CHANCE FOR EACH OF THEM…PAY FOR ANOTHER REHAB…GO TO COUNSELING, TRY HARDER I CAN FIX THIS! LUCKILY I DID NOT…MY AWAKENING HAD ARRIVED…I AM STILL WORKING ON IT BECAUSE I AM HELPING EACH OF THEM AGAIN…BUT ON THEIR TERMS AND WITH MY BOUNDARIES SET IN PLACE…HAVE I SLIPPED A BIT? TO BE SURE MY OLDEST SON CAN NO LONGER LIVE AT THE HOUSE…I GAVE HIM SOME CHOICES THAT HE COULD NOT KEEP SO OFF HE WENT…BUT IT WAS A THREE YEARS AND WAY TOO MANY ONE MORE TIME…OUR RELATIONSHIP WILL MEND AS THINGS OFTEN DO IF ONE DOES NOT TRY AND MANIPULATE THE RESULTS